p.s. as a forewarning, yes this is long, no i didn't proofread... it's 11 oclock on a school night and i just couldn't sleep.. but i think it's a good reflection on what i've experienced this first year.
http://www.youtube.com/user/KauffmanFoundation#p/u/0/JPCeGrDWsLs
So I'll start by posting that, b/c that really motivates me and makes me realize how important the work of inner city teachers especially in the Kansas city region is. That video shows several of my friends who are working hard to make sure their students receive the best education that can be given to them.
I've decided that throughout the year I was an awful blogger... the only time I would think to blog was on really bad or really good days, and most of the time those were spent talking to others about my experiences or just resting and relaxing and trying to breathe in between grad school, school, planning, trying to keep up with old friends, making new friends, and discovering who I am as a person.
I have gained SOO much this year, both from my work, my students, being "an adult" and just reflecting on what I do and who i want to be. Even though I've got to say that I'm very excited for the year to be wrapping up, and looking forward to several months of summer, it's a bittersweet kind of feeling. i'm really going to miss seeing my kids faces everyday. Each one of them have touched me in a different way, and i know that I'm going to miss many things:
J-always making me things and telling me i'm the best teacher in the world
a-constantly getting out of her seat asking for affectoin, attention, and when i didn't give it acting out
G-showing SUCH phenomenal growth from the beginning to now, and actually TALKING in the classroom, to the point where i even have to tell him to be quiet! he raises his hand and shares!
T and T-answering questions i ask... IN SPANISH.. and responding.. IN SPANISH, without even realizing they are doing it
A-Hugging me every chance she gets, begging for a true mother figure in her life
D-missing so many days of school because of abuse and homelesness, but yet everyday she is in school working 10 X harder than all the rest.
T-with that sweet little smile, that he gives when he's embarassed that you're praising him
G-shouting out answers that have nothing to do with what i've asked, but sincerely wanting to be a part of the learning and trying again even when i say "what?!?!?"
J-knowing EVERY answer to EVERY question, and STILL raising his hand when i don't call on him because i want to give everyone else a chance to get it right
D and J-who ALWAYS ask what they can help me with, konw that they have a problem for talking, but within minutes of being reprimimanded are the first to write me a love letter begging for my forgiveness
V-out of uniform everyday, and usually late, but in reality it's never her fault, she's only 8
S-telling me so nonchalantly about robbers in her house, and people taking away her brother, yet knowing deep inside she holds a true sadness and pain
M-never working unless you hound him, but really showing growth knowing that i actualy believe in him, and that he is starting to believe in himself, he has afteral gotten 3 100%s!
and i really could go on and on, and i almost want to so i don't lose the memory of all these students who helped me get through my first year teaching. some days i feel like i did them such a diservice because really what do i know? i've never taught before, i'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants (and of coures all the advice/rules/recomendations of tfa nad grad school) but in reality... kind of feeling like i have no idea what i'm doing! But then looking at the progress my students have made, all growing in their reading, hopefully all getting proficient or close to it on the MAP, and looking at the progress i have made, knowing how to deal with problemed students, knowing how to crank out lesson plans that will succeed, knowing when something is about to flop....
all this has made me SOO excited for the new year, and even though i'm very sad, especially because i don't know where i'll be, in what grade, or with what students, i know that this year has prepared me for what is yet to come, and i hope that the same can be said of what i have done for my student's and their future lives.
