Nervous/Excited

Ok. second time writing this post thanks to blogger erasing it the first time.

So i'll be brief because I'm lazy. I"m just excited for this year to start! Nervous though because I know what to expect and I know what I want my class to look like (and what I DONT want to do thanks to last year!)

My classroom is pretty much setup with some great stuff i didn't have last year, 3 computers, a writing workshop station, a small group instruction center, cubbies... it's looking good! If I can get some 10's to paint it it'll be good to go! :)

But at the same point i'm very scared.... I know there are so many mistakes I made last year as a first year teacher and I want to do everything perfect this year which is of course impossible, but i'm going to try :)

i'm excited that school is starting at 7:30 and ending at 2:30 b/c i'll actually have time to do stuff AFTER school this year and maybe feel like a human being? ( a little bit?)

We shall definitely see but regardless I think it's going to be a great year. I'm once again soo happy to have my staff and prinicpal and think we will blow the district out of hte water with our results. The curriculum the district is creating seems great, HOPEFULLY we'll get it soon, and be able to use that in our planning. Regardless things seem to be going in the right direction and I know we're going to take hte nation by surprise!

EXciTED For year 2010/2011

Summer of Books

So it's been extremely weird for me this summer being with LOADS of free time and almost nothing to do. I'm not in Kansas City so I can't clean my house, run errands, help out at school, I'm in NC. None of my friends are here, just me and a lot of time with family and books. So I've taken it upon myself to read as many books as I'd like and it's been wonderful, and I decided to write about a few of the books and my thoughts.

1. The Help:
This was a book reccomended to me by Anna, and was about Mississippi when there was still extreme segregation and prejudice among black and white citizens (wait there isn't now?) Anyways, it was a great book that really showed the view of female black housekeepers and the way they were treated by their white bosses, and one girl's attempt to change people's minds. Reading the book helped me to see why there is still such segregation in so many areas, especially the deep South.
2. Baking Cakes In Kigali
A random book that I just happened to pick up at the library because it was colored and looked neat. Reading the summary hooked me. It was about a cake baker (who doesn't like cake?) and her living in Kigali Africa shortly after the Rwandan Genocide. The book deals with very heavy topics such as genocide and the aids epidemic and really makes a person reflect on how differnet life can be in different areas of the world. Yet somehow, thanks to the cake, it was lighthearted and funny.
3. Deadlock
Not really worth writing about, a silly little suspense/murder mystery type of book.
4. Walk Two Moons
Reccomended to our class by our graduate school professor. She raved about the book for two semesters straight and I thought to myself "HOW CAN THIS BOOK BE SO GOOD!?" i picked it out because she was an awesome professor and if she thought I should read it to my students I decided I should read it first. Let me say I started reading it at 10 pm one night... didn't put it down until a little before 1 am when i finished it. A great story about a little girl dealing with death and friendships on a week long road trip with her grandparents. Author just writes so well, thanks Sharon Creech.
5. True Notebooks
By far one of my favorites i've read this summer. A non-fiction piece written by an author who volunteered at a juvenille penitentiary in California. He shares his experiences with the boys and their works of writing that show that these boys are just humans who have made some poor choices or have been at the wrong place at the wrong time due to their circumstances and situations. The book has brought me to tears several times, especially when I'm reminded of one of my student's or their families, but it really touches on the importance of showing each person their worth and that there is always opportunity for change and becoming the best person you can be.
6. Sizzling Sixteen..
about to start :) a silly little series by Janet Evanovich but i love her haha i have to.

BUT if anyone knows any great books, ESPECIALLY good teacher books PLEASE let me know, i'd love any reccomendations because obviously I have NOTHING but time until July 21st when I head back to KC and start moving into my new school, getting a new car, getting things ready for Teach for America and getting ready to start w/ the everyday grind once again!

always want what you don't have...

So I'm on my what, 3rd week of vacation? and it's finally hitting me that i have a lot of free time. I got back to my parents house last thurdsay after a whirlwind of crazy weeks in denver and KC helping with induction. Now i am literally with nothing to do (but to run/bike/read/play/rest?) and I'm antsy. It's weird to go from eternally busy to having NOTHING i have to do (besides a few graduate assignments i can put of until hte last minute) i almost wish that i could take all this free time and mix it with my year of stress, and create a somewhat normal life of inbetween... but let's be honest i kind of like to have things to do and be pushed to the edge, probably why i've embarked on this crazy journey. Meanwhile i'm going to try and relax, read too many books, catch up on a few movies, and enjoy the sweltering heat and humidity of the carolinas.

The Tensies are here :)

So i just got to spend a wonderful week meeting the O so excited, extremely nervous, super friendly 2010 corps of Kansas City Missouri. Watching them come in reminds me of how far i've come since last year, and makes me realize how much i've grown in this past year with teach for america and teaching in the Kansas City PUblic school system.

yesterday i attended one of the most memorable events of this year's induction for me was a talk by Airick West, the president of the school board. He spoke very candidly with the 10's and let them know this journey wouldn't be easy (understatment!) He also let them know that they could either be a change or they could conform to a system, and he urged them to not conform. That really made me reflect on my past year of teaching and my views of the schools and students i am teaching. have i conformed to the system or am i still keeping strong with my ideals, goals and knowledge that all students can succeed!

I hope the first is true, and talking with the 2010 corps members energizes me and gets me ready for next year. They are so eager and ready to learn and not yet jaded by a difficult system. They take in anything we can tell them and it reminds me of only a year before when i was grilling 2008 corps members for advice. I remember thinking they knew EVERYTHING and now being in their shoes i realize that is very far from the truth> However, in speaking with them i hope i am making it clear the realities of what they are about to experience and encourage them on their journey and let them know that there will always be support.

i know that without the support i have experienced this past year: through veteran teachers, 2008 corps members, fellow 2009 corp members, principals and many others, that i would not have made it through the year. i want to thank all these people and let them know they are helping to shape who i am as a teacher and a person and i hope that this year i will be able to continue to help others as well all travel on this difficult journey together to end the achievement gap and to reform schools in the Kansas City area.
like Airick West said, there will be at least 30 "90/90" schools in the KC area and we can help to make this one of the best districts in the Country.

awful blogger

p.s. as a forewarning, yes this is long, no i didn't proofread... it's 11 oclock on a school night and i just couldn't sleep.. but i think it's a good reflection on what i've experienced this first year.

http://www.youtube.com/user/KauffmanFoundation#p/u/0/JPCeGrDWsLs

So I'll start by posting that, b/c that really motivates me and makes me realize how important the work of inner city teachers especially in the Kansas city region is. That video shows several of my friends who are working hard to make sure their students receive the best education that can be given to them.

I've decided that throughout the year I was an awful blogger... the only time I would think to blog was on really bad or really good days, and most of the time those were spent talking to others about my experiences or just resting and relaxing and trying to breathe in between grad school, school, planning, trying to keep up with old friends, making new friends, and discovering who I am as a person.

I have gained SOO much this year, both from my work, my students, being "an adult" and just reflecting on what I do and who i want to be. Even though I've got to say that I'm very excited for the year to be wrapping up, and looking forward to several months of summer, it's a bittersweet kind of feeling. i'm really going to miss seeing my kids faces everyday. Each one of them have touched me in a different way, and i know that I'm going to miss many things:
J-always making me things and telling me i'm the best teacher in the world
a-constantly getting out of her seat asking for affectoin, attention, and when i didn't give it acting out
G-showing SUCH phenomenal growth from the beginning to now, and actually TALKING in the classroom, to the point where i even have to tell him to be quiet! he raises his hand and shares!
T and T-answering questions i ask... IN SPANISH.. and responding.. IN SPANISH, without even realizing they are doing it
A-Hugging me every chance she gets, begging for a true mother figure in her life
D-missing so many days of school because of abuse and homelesness, but yet everyday she is in school working 10 X harder than all the rest.
T-with that sweet little smile, that he gives when he's embarassed that you're praising him
G-shouting out answers that have nothing to do with what i've asked, but sincerely wanting to be a part of the learning and trying again even when i say "what?!?!?"
J-knowing EVERY answer to EVERY question, and STILL raising his hand when i don't call on him because i want to give everyone else a chance to get it right
D and J-who ALWAYS ask what they can help me with, konw that they have a problem for talking, but within minutes of being reprimimanded are the first to write me a love letter begging for my forgiveness
V-out of uniform everyday, and usually late, but in reality it's never her fault, she's only 8
S-telling me so nonchalantly about robbers in her house, and people taking away her brother, yet knowing deep inside she holds a true sadness and pain
M-never working unless you hound him, but really showing growth knowing that i actualy believe in him, and that he is starting to believe in himself, he has afteral gotten 3 100%s!

and i really could go on and on, and i almost want to so i don't lose the memory of all these students who helped me get through my first year teaching. some days i feel like i did them such a diservice because really what do i know? i've never taught before, i'm kind of flying by the seat of my pants (and of coures all the advice/rules/recomendations of tfa nad grad school) but in reality... kind of feeling like i have no idea what i'm doing! But then looking at the progress my students have made, all growing in their reading, hopefully all getting proficient or close to it on the MAP, and looking at the progress i have made, knowing how to deal with problemed students, knowing how to crank out lesson plans that will succeed, knowing when something is about to flop....

all this has made me SOO excited for the new year, and even though i'm very sad, especially because i don't know where i'll be, in what grade, or with what students, i know that this year has prepared me for what is yet to come, and i hope that the same can be said of what i have done for my student's and their future lives.

MAP TESTING BEGINS

SOO i really wish that I wrote in this more..

but i wanted to blog a little bit about last week!

so we have been preparing for the ever important MAP tests for MONTHS and they are finally here. we started last week on thurdsay with a 2 hr WRITING test... WHICH MY KIDS DID AWEsome@!

first they were quiet and sat still for 2 hrs..which i have been told is amazing for kids of my age in a classroom! 2nd they ALLLLL made webs before startin their writing then they all wrote at least one page! looking over their shoulders andnot being able to tell them (don't forget tha period! spacing! spelling!) but overall they really made me proud!!! one of my girls said "ms. gerlach that was easy! u were right! we were ready!!!"

then friday totally different story. they musta been tired from testing the day before, but they could not stop talking! chatty chatty chatty! i was excited b/c it was day 1 of my 6 day unit on earth day! This lesson went all right, but after that i could not get them quiet or under control in hte hallway, in between lessons etc.

i got to the point where i finally said, fine, instead of watching the movie (they were going to watch charlotte's web with the other class since we read that book in class) we are oing to put our heads on our desks til i say. a couple kids who had been great got to go see the movie immediately while the others sat there as i called them to the back of the classroom 1 by 1 to call parents. HOPEFULLY this makes htem aware the threat "no recess, i'll call your parents" is NOT an empty threat.haha

but i'm super excited about this week. we start language arts testing tues, wed, thurs,but there's not much i can do at this point but hope they remember what they've learned. AND i have a week worth of fun earth day lessons so i hope it goes well!!!

post spring break post

SOOOO today marks the last day of spring break. which means it's actually more work than ever (since i didn't do anything any other day) but it was TOTALLY worth it and wonderful to go home to see family friends and get to celebrate my birthday with them!

As i was sitting her i was working on a project for my special needs grad class.... and i realized that it actually helped me reflect on G my student with down syndrome and i wanted to share the last part of the report to help people see how working with a student like G has changed my view.
h. Reflective Narrative
I think that participating in this activity was extremely beneficial for I, as the teacher as well as G my student; we learned from one another. Going into the experience G was always the student in my class who sat in the back (where she would not really both me) and would be given a coloring page or a simple book to “read” to keep out of my way as I was trying to teach the rest of the students. This experience made me realize that she is ready for so much more than that.
During this experience I learned that G is able to learn quite a bit, even though it takes a lot more effort on the teacher’s part for her to learn. I learned that she IS able to read words (on a first grade reading level in English) and that she knows how to sound words out. I also learned that when pushed, she performs at a much higher level than when she is not given expectations. If you expect her to read a story with you, on most days she will read it.
I say on most days because G is not always the most predictable person; but when I thought about it, all my students have good and bad days. Even though on most days G can be expected to follow directions, stay on task and want to work hard, there are certain days where she will have no part of learning. I would get extremely frustrated with her because her demonstrations of refusal to learn are much more intense than other students (sitting under desk without moving, cursing out students, hitting her classmates). However, what I realized is that every single person in my class (including the teacher) has days they do not want to learn or to work hard. This does not mean that you should stop pushing the child but rather, that you have to work extra hard on those days to see what you can do to help the child learn even when they do not want to.
G proved to me that with developed strategies, such as using pictures to add or subtract, that she can perform and master material that in my years prior to working with students with down syndrome, I never thought would be possible. She can add like other students (not on her grade level, but once again on a first grade level). The only thing that still frustrates me about that, is that sometimes I wonder if she could do it without me. In class I always have to be with her every step of the way through problems. If we are subtracting I have to say: How much do we start with? How much do we take away? How much is left? This sometimes feels like “cheating” to me, but I think that I am starting to realize that it is ok to give her cues and other hints, because she does learn differently than other students, which is something I tell my students each and every day “We all learn differently.
The fact that we all learn differently is something that my students have come to comprehend in my class, but I worry that in the future years they might not be as understanding. I remember being a middle schooler and high schooler, and people that were different were always made fun of and often seemed miserable. Even though G is a happy little girl now and has lots of friends, I worry that this will change as she and her classmates get older. She is currently much smaller than all her classmates and I feel that this discrepancy, as well as her intellectual ability will cause her friends to slowly push away from her and choose other friends. I hope that this is not the case, and that I have taught my students that prejudice against people such as G is not right, and that we are all special and unique, but I fear that because they are only human and young kids, that the words of one or two teachers will not be able to combat the way they see students like G.
While this is a fear that I have for her and other students similar to her, I do know that students like G have much more hope than I ever believed prior to this experience. When I think about her and her accomplishments I am overwhelmed with the positive aspects that I find, and know that people’s ideas about others are changing as they become more comfortable and aware of people different than them. In order to understand others, one just needs to take some extra time, like I have with G, to really get to know a person and see them for who they are: all their strengths, and all their weaknesses.